The black widow spider seems to be intent on becoming my totem (animal spiritual guide). I had yet another surprising encounter with one, while skating downtown on the outdoor rink (of all places).
I often report on finding black widows in my home and blog or Facebook about the experience. I discover black widows in my home and garage all autumn long. Sometimes, the spider is shockingly huge and Peter (husband) has squished one with a tennis racket before I can rescue her. Often I find them in dangerous places: making a web on the spindle of my toddlers crib (5 years ago), above the piano my children play daily, inside my daughters skate, etc. Living in the Okanagan Valley of BC keeps me black widow aware. I never put on a pair of skates or ski boots stored in the garage without checking for spiders first.
I am fortunate that I am a huge anachrophile. I find all spiders fascinating and beautiful. My children sometimes scream at the sight of the giant house spiders that roam our house. The house spiders are lucky; I let them live in my home happily, as they help control other, more obnoxious insect pests. I like to joke with my girls and say, “That one was big enough to have a tail!” My kids know that they don’t hurt a spider under my watch.
However, black widows are something else. They are extremely poisonous.
Thus, I relocate the black widows into the forest behind our home. Their venom is 15x more toxic than rattlesnake venom. Of course, they use only a small amount of venom in most bites–enough to kill a small pet but most adult humans survive the bite.
But Sunday morning’s incident took even me by surprise. It was December 15, a beautiful sunny, warm winter day, perfect for a skate on the downtown out-door rink.
I checked my children’s skates for spiders before I loaded them into the back of the car. Peter checked his. My skates were in a skate bag, all ready and waiting for me to grab and place in the car.
As I sat downtown, on the skate bench, and pulled out my skates, I was surprised to find a large, dead, black widow in the centre of a web between my skate blade and skate boot. I flashed her around to show my astonished family. She was a healthy size, and her hour-glass abdomen shape was a deep burnt-orange colour. I tried to shake her and her web from my skate so I could put it on. Suddenly, the dead black widow was alive! She began to crawl up the skate to my hands. “She’s alive!” I screamed and dropped the skate into the grass (its mild in my city +3 C and the rink is artificially cooled). My brother-in-law says I danced a crazy jig as I screamed and tossed the skate.
In typical black widow form, she refused to leave her nest. I had to flick her from the skate with a stick but then she started climbing towards another skater’s empty shoes. I couldn’t live with myself if she hid in another skater’s shoes and bit them, so I had to find a longer branch and relocate the poor, cold dear.
What is it with black widows and me? I never thought I’d be doing my spider relocation work this time of year.
The photo is of a rock I purchased from the Okanagan First Nation in Osoyoos, BC. I carry it with me as a symbol of one species from the natural world that seems to intersect with my world in a curious way. My life is destined to merge with black widows regularly, it seems. I may not know why, but I like that a creature that represents powerful female energy found me. For more about unusual animal stories read A magic Cat Named Pyewacket and Wolves Don’t Bark.
Ashely
I had a recent ceremony where I distinctly felt the black widow as a totem, wanting to connect, but I was afraid and having a hard time accepting her. A young female was found in my car, on the way to the ceremony – and this was unusual for me… but I’ve had a few occurrences where they really want to be seen.
Found your blog while trying to do some research on her and what her possible interests in me could be. I know spiders in general are associated with creativity, and your “about” says you’re a writer and an artist. I am as well.
But, I’m not sure what specifically about “black widow” is particularly coming forward. Perhaps learning to master words as medicine and as poison? Finding a sense of independence and feminine power? I do not know… still asking her to clarify, but also intensely respectful of her. I remember being afraid that she wanted me to be single for my life, and not have a partner… Her path looked lonely, and that was part of why I found it hard to accept her medicine.
Mix Hart
HI Ashley, thanks for your comment. I think you cannot know all of what an animal totem represents to you in this moment. Your connection will change and evolve throughout life. That is why I don’t speculate on what my personal black widow connection means, I just accept/respect her. My only fear is a realistic one–that she not become agitated and bite me or my family (we have so many that sneak inside our home each fall)! Luckily, black widows are very gentle, independent creatures who like to be warm and undisturbed and go about there business of being spiders. Thus, if we don’t accidentally walk into her web, I know we are safe. As writer/artists I am sure she comes to us knowing we want to the same things when we create: warmth and time left undisturbed so we can go about our business of creating. As a mother, I also relate to the strong maternal instinct of black widows. They build their nest and lay their eggs (even sacrifice their mate) all to ensure that their spider children have the best chance of survival.
Ashely
Thanks Mix!
I found this lady’s website while doing my searching… loved what she had to say and thought you might too? She works with Black Widow as a spirit or demi goddess and had a lot of love for her as one who can eat psychic impurities… a sort of motherly and hilarious form of the Dark Mother. Enjoy. This is youtube link. If you don’t feel safe to open it, you can search for the woman on youtube 🙂 “Dark Goddess – Black Widow Tutorial 3” by ChildofBones
https://youtu.be/QJMMQDkLqtA
Phoenix the Elder
Poisonous creatures like rattlesnakes, spiders and even wasps etc are different than regular totems or animism souls (fetches in witch language), and should thus be reversed in the teaching. It means that someone in your circle, or extended circle, has appeared and to see them at face value is not wise. They carry hidden demonic and shadow power and feeding off your soul. Also be careful of “astral spiders” which sometimes regular physical spiders will let you know someone has them that you know, even if “they” do not know. And you can get them, even if you are pure in mind (like having mastered zen), or work on or have healed all of your emotional body, and are physically organic and pure (no pot, meds, plants, wine etc). Everyone has one or two or three demonic past lives over the last 5000 years of the Patriarch (everyone) even if you’ve never experience your own yet.
Roseen
My step dad called me a black widow, my dad bought me a bling bracelet that had a bling black widow, I’ve come across several live black widow’s and told them I’m sorry but I had to dispose them. Today I’m cleaning the car my son has let me use for the past two years, and I’m detailing it, and I find a black widow pendant. I’ve been going through alot, people invading my home and vehicle, and to find this I don’t know where it came from and why someone would leave it.
Do you have any ideas?