School Districts need researched and tested non-sexist dress codes.
Anything less leads to little girls being publicly shamed by adults and peers at school.
My 3 daughters are bright, popular, well-behaved, happy girls and A students. However, despite their successes, my daughters have been harassed at school every year since they started school ( at ages 4 and 5—once they started kindergarten).
They are now in grades 12, 8 and 2. The harassment comes from teachers and then, in turn, fellow students who reiterate the shaming words the teachers have said.
What is tragic about this harassment is that it is directly targeted at the girls in the school, the boys are left out of this harassment.
The harassment stems from the unresearched decision to allow the parent advisory committee, along with the school principal, to randomly make up school dress code rules and their attempts to enforce them.
These dress code rules are not school division rules; they bear no authority except the whims of well-meaning, but misinformed, parent advisory ideals.
The dress code targets little girls. Little girls are constantly harassed during school hours by other female and male students, teachers and principals as to whether or not their shoulder straps are too narrow. The PAC (parent advisory committee) decided that only lasagna width straps are permitted and spaghetti strapped t-shirts and dresses are too distracting.
At age five, my daughters were driven to tears at school by female and male students or a teacher saying their straps were too narrow and thus not allowed at school.
The straps are not the only issue. It seems that any girls’ wear is subject to constant public scrutiny and shame-directed comments.
My twelve-year-old daughter was asked in front of her entire class (by the teacher) if her shirt was, “too distracting?” She was wearing a white, lace-front, short-sleeved t-shirt over an opaque, black t-shirt. Nothing could be further from revealing.
According to Hugh Gloster (Superintendent of the Central Okanagan School District—the district where my daughters attend school), the school district doesn’t have an official dress code. The dress code is decided by the school parents and school administrators.
Further more, the dress code is enforced by all adults within the school, with the school administration having the final say in terms of significant violations against the school’s code of conduct. Thus, it seems, any adult in the school has the authority to shame your daughter for her clothing choices.
Why are our girls being humiliated, shamed and harassed at school over their wardrobes? Are the boys? No. Boys can wear muscle style t-shirts without any harassment by fellow classmates or teachers. In fact, a friend of my daughter, I will call S, told me that she was dress coded—sent home to change a sleeveless t-shirt on the same day she saw several boys wearing sleeveless t-shirts with far narrower straps. S is a very modest young girl who would never dress seductively.
It appears as though our girls are being targets because of the idea that a female’s body parts are shameful and thus, need to be covered. Our schools are sexualizing our girls.
Why do our schools allow the parent advisory committees to enforce these absurd sexist rules?
So what if a bra strap protrudes from beneath the strap now and again; are maturing boys forced to cover their protruding Adams apples with turtle necks?
The danger of letting parent advisory committees make up school rules is obvious. The rules are untested and unresearched by education experts. Furthermore, there is no support offered to our daughters for the fall-out of such rules:
Who is there, to counsel my crying daughter for taunts by school mates because her sun dress straps are 1/4 inch too narrow?
Who is there, to counsel my 12-year-old for being shamed and humiliated in front of her class by her teacher for wearing a stylish outfit?
Who is there, at my house, on Monday morning, trying to convince my 6-year-old daughter that it’s okay to wear sport shorts on track and field day (even though they are well above knee-length)?
The wardrobe harassment has to stop. Our daughters are suffering bullying at school because of it.
It is time for our girls to feel safe and supported for being girls and not bullied for it.
If schools cannot control the wardrobe bullying, then they must adopt a school uniform.
Principals need to talk to their school staff, PACs and teachers and make sure the clothing harassment ends today. The psychological damage this type of humiliation and bullying is doing to our girls has not been addressed. Unresearched and untested “rules” imposed by institutions on young children can create life-long damage.
We hire professionals in our schools—teachers and principals who have a minimum of six years of university studies—because we want the ideals that are taught and enforced by our schools to be well researched and tested. Anything less is lunacy and subjects our youth to the damaging random whims of persons not qualified to be making decisions about our children.
Yours sincerely,
Mix Hart (mother of three outstanding daughters)
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