Let Me In & Let Me Out

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Baby Pablo a little nervous that perhaps no one remembers that he’s still outside on a chilly day!

Baby Pablo waiting at the door to be let in.

When life is over/under-whelming, my only solution is to “GO TO THE WORLD.”
By this I mean that one must push themselves even further and get more involved in outside pursuits in some way–forge a new connection to other beings in a new way. It is the social connections with others (human and animal) that challenge us and keep us in top form. It is also an imbalance in these connections that cause us to loose top form–when one is oppressed by power imbalances, trying to navigate through life with those individuals in positions of power with fragile and giant egos.

Once my thesis is defended (this is the hardest thing I have ever dealt with in my life–having one’s future constantly dependent on others) I will be able to move onto phase II of my career plan. Phase II is all about art. This involves only one major training session in France this summer. It is going to be touch and go if I can afford the trip on many levels: time away from my family, finances etc.
Before France though, I must establish myself as a Publisher and publish my first e-Book. So, I am waiting and waiting to get into phase II. Phase 1 should have been over a year ago but unfortunately I am not in control over the MA process. Though, I have been sinking major tuition into UBC until I defend my thesis so there are many, many reasons I wish this would have been over a year ago.

I am hanging in there–going to the world–in an attempt to not let this lack of control over one’s own future drag me down. Today is my teach 5 classes in 3 locations of Zumba day. But strangely, even dancing my body and mind into oblivion isn’t enough “going to the world” for me. I need to push harder, move even further into the world to conquer the mental stress I have been under for the last 2 years of the MA process. I am not sure how exactly I am going to up my going to the world pursuits, but I will. It is the only thing that saves one in a time of serious stress (stress that is either sudden and of a crisis nature or prolonged lower level stress that shows no sign of ending soon).

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