Secret Agent MIssion: Eradicate Sibling Rivalry

PIP AS SECRET AGENT: 00PIP

My 6 year old has been going through an early morning panic phase. She awakens well before dawn (often 2 a.m.), dresses herself and crawls back into bed and sleeps until she hears Mom up at 6 (for Mom’s workout)–she bolts out of bed in a panic and sets herself down at the counter in an overtired heap, rubbing her eyes and declaring, “I don’t want to be late for school.”

After weeks and weeks of reassuring her, mentally working through every possible scenario to show her no matter what happens, she has a plan and she’ll be okay. The early rising and also refusing to go to sleep at night continues. She is so tired during the day that she falls asleep on route to guitar lessons.

I talked with her, questioned her about every facet of her life. She declares being happy with everything except her sisters. She has two older sisters: a16 year old and 13 year old.

All through Pip’s life her sisters have doted on her. A cross word was never spoken to her until she was over three years old. A harsh sounding voice was so foreign to her little ears, she would cry if someone spoke to her in such a tone. This was her babyhood, blessed.

But PIp is no longer a baby. She is a little girl with opinions and personality. And so, sometimes she and her big sisters don’t see eye to eye. Within the last few years, they’ve lost interest in playing the same games she likes and often don’t have time for her. Pip told me that they say mean things to her and make her cry.
I know sibling rivalry  (I have 3 sisters–it can be brutal at times). I also know a put down or cross remark from a teenager holds more weight than if it were from a peer.
So, what to do?
I decided to do what I have always done when my girls don’t get along: I force them together. I limit outside friend play dates. I give the sisters time to reconnect, no distractions. Just a 1/2 hour of one on one time–they can do what ever they want together as long as it involves no screen time (TV, computer etc.).

Each sister choses the 1/2 hour from her day that she’ll spend doing something with Pip. They can take the dog for  walk, do a craft, play a game…whatever.

The first trial day was a great success. Pip was beaming in happiness and Tabs and Mist had smiles too. And I noticed kinder, more affectionate body language between the girls too. Somedays are too busy and the girls don’t have enough time for 1/2 h but most days they do. I shall keep up the forced togetherness time because it is the only thing that brings people together (people who genuinely like each other but have grown apart).