There are No Bridges Between Motherhood and Womanhood

Mistaya and Tabitha on Sunday at a piano recital.
I have been doing nothing but working out, and writing on my thesis–attempting to cook occasionally and do laundry when absolutely necessary.
My dear sweet Pip’s birthday party will be postponed until April when I have the time to really focus on making it a fabulous party. A rushed party right now isn’t going to work.

I am looking forward to going to Seattle at the end of the month. I am taking basic Zumba-I training. I will then be able to start teaching. I want to take 2 more workshops very soon after Seattle. Basic Zumba-II and Kids-Zumba. No one is offering II or kids around the globe right now. Zumba is so hot all they’re doing all training in basic only. But, once Z-I is under my belt (April 2nd) I will take the other workshops. I am excited to teach the kids especially as Tabs so wants to be in my class.
I’ll be able to teach while I look for the big job. The big job will be in teaching fine arts, English, communications or digital media or in corporate education or in digital communications or in online journalism/editing. These are my fields to start looking in.
I’m only going to do workshops that advance my career for a while (or make me money) thus Zumba and Renaissance painting techniques are the only ones I’m interested in at the moment.
My job will be my income, my passions will be painting and writing fiction. Zumba is simply for fun.

I have so very much to say about life…but I am still swimming like mad against fierce ocean currents so I am in no position to tread water and chat about it. My life is upside down and inside out still. Once I reach shore, I may share some of my scars and learned truths with you. But for now I am just simply swimming in the currents.

My life is in the biggest transition since parenthood. A big time of growth, however painful and confusing. I believe for a woman there are three major stages of growth: childhood, parenthood and womanhood. Womanhood does not come when a girl turns 21. It comes much later when she realizes the time has come to become autonomous and authentic. So I am morphing from being a mommy into a woman and it hurts. Of course I’ll always be a mommy but it’s the womanhood thing that rips one apart.

In our modern society there are no bridges, no footpaths to follow. Motherhood and womanhood are divided. Every woman has to find a way to build her own bridge and manage the rolls. No woman crosses her self-made bridge without some scars. I am not alone. Every mother has or will reach the point when someway, somehow she must become both or die trying. A few give up…finding the journey too painful. These women are not happy women.

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