Mind Games

For the first time in years–truly–I spent a Saturday relaxing. I didn’t jump out of bed and run out of the house to hike, or anything. It was the first no work, relax day in sooo long. It was great. I needed it. I find the weeks Peter works 12h days exhaust me. The girls are watching “My Neighbor Totoro” down stairs in their fort. Pip too. They made snow forts in the front yard all day. It is a rare relaxing Saturday for us all. I can’t remember the last time all my girls shared a movie.We even ordered pizza tonight as I was too tired to kneed dough.I Love Studio Gibhli–my favorite animated movies of all time. We sold the Volvo today. For the first time in years we own only 2 cars. Weldy is causing me so much mental anguish. His incontinence makes it impossible for us to find him a baby sitter. Yet we need someone for 10 days while we’re in Texas. I hate this all. There is no health care for aging dogs. I am his nurse maid and I cannot travel at this time and leave him as no one else would care for him. What can I do???He is 15 1/2 years old. His hind end is extremely weak. He poops in the house 2-3 times a day and sometimes eats his own poo. Yes, I know, everyone would not keep him on. But he is Weldy. I have had him since he was 6 weeks old. We have been through so much together. Good and Bad times. Life and death are so difficult.
I am taking a rare movie in bed tonight–The Italian, about a Russian Orphan. Peter will be home with the groceries shortly. Tomorrow tobogganing. Friday we skated. I am getting better but still afraid of speed. That is my mental block. Speed. Speed on ice, speed on snow. My mind defaults and panics when my speed picks up. Everything is a mind game.